I have the BEST marriage! The best marriage is where there is a sense of oneness…and oneness comes from being a student of your spouse. When I say BEST I do not mean perfect nor do I mean that it is all smooth sailing. By BEST I mean two people who are obedient to God through submission to each other. Submission means that sometimes you do things you don’t necessarily feel like doing, but you do it out of love for God and his command to submit to one another.
Too often marriages are based on what “I” want and not “what does my spouse need.” I have been reading “Every Man’s Marriage” by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker which is an absolutely amazing book. Every man should read this book and learn what it means to be a “bondservant.” A bondservant loving serves his master by choice; not out of obligation. Jesus chose to die on the cross; He was not forced. As spiritual leaders in our homes, we need to honor and love our wives; submitting to oneness within the marriage. We do this by choice and not an obligation.
The point is: if you want to have oneness in your marriage, then you need to be obedient to God’s Word and serve your wife. You need to keep her best interests in mind. As the authors suggest you need to choose the mindset “of the bondservant because, first of all, he loves his master as he loves himself, and he’s committed to helping his masterfully live and blossom as a person. That’s the very same calling we have in our marriage – we need a servant’s heart for our wives. Also, a servant’s mindset provides the humility necessary to give in for the sake of marital unity.”
Men, be a student of your wife. Study God’s Word about marriage. Read Christian books about marriage. Achieving oneness which comes through obedience to God’s Word will give you the BEST marriage…EVER!
Dale Weerts 